Monday 9 April 2012

Respect thy friends.

I have always thought that quick friendships are like candles. The faster they burn, the faster they die out. 'It takes time' is probably one of the most overrated phrases in the human dictionary, but only because we don't want to admit that it's true. Aside from lottery tickets, most extraordinary things don't happen overnight. This applies to friendships too.

When one becomes friends with someone, one signs an invisible code of respect. I believe that people often take their friendships for granted because they assume that the other party will always be there. A violation of the code can happen in many ways; verbal abuse, neglect, betrayal. What people may fail to realize is that friendships don't just mean you are there for the person when they are sobbing their eyes out and their hearts are shattering. It means you are there through the thick, thin, ups and downs. You know when something is going well, or when something is going terribly. A friend lifts you when you are descending into darkness. A friend distinguishes between what you need and what you want to hear, because they respect you enough to tell you the truth.

Whether anyone likes it or not, friendships are relationships. What else would they be? When you're in a healthy (intimate) relationship, you try your best not to infuriate your girlfriend/boyfriend because you don't want them to leave you. You want them to be happy because their joy lifts you. These are not just marks of consideration and kindess; this mentality is the embodiment of respect. Let's break it down. Why would you genuinely want to do something nice for someone? It is because you care for them and you want to. But WHY do you care? Well in my opinion, because you respect them enough as a person.

I am not saying that you and your best friend have to hold hands and text everyday about what kind of cereal you guys eat. I am merely offering a simple suggestion; when you consider someone to be your true friend, respect them. Be loyal to them. If you ask for an opinion, listen. In other words, one must never take their true friends for granted. Time, chemistry, mutual trust and common interests are crucial factors that form friendships, but respect needs to be there to tie these elements up with a pretty little bow.

I'll end my post with this:

If I wake up in the morning because you ask me to,
If I surprise you with something, 
If I forgo my own interests and say "no no it's okay, we can talk" when I really should not,
If I know I would take a bullet for you, 
If I realize that you accept me regardless of the seemingly endless number of faults I have,
If we can call each other at ridiculous hours because we are comfortable enough to do so, 
That is how I know that I truly respect and value you as my friend.